Underground Enemies

My gawd...is anyone out there? Damn. The walls are slowly closing in on my ass. We made it to Friday of Week 5. Feels like month 5. Last night I looked in the mirror after a long day of homeschool, laundry and whatever other stupid activities I did, and spotted a HUGE (MASSIVE) zit on my lower left chin. This fucker didn't even have a head on it it was so big...just an underground enemy with a pulse. I mean, what do I expect? All I've been eating is CRAP. Gawd forbid anything green enter my body. Is lettuce even available on prime now? My diet has consisted of things I never fathomed eating before now; least of all at 2pm on a Thursday. Let's take for instance; the homemade loaf of bread my dad dropped off. Why not slice a couple and toast em up with butter? Sounds like a great snack, right? Absolutely. I've only ever consumed a slice of bread with butter at a restaurant while waiting for the main course but hey, it's quarantine so why not? In my case; this WAS the main course and it was no less than 3 slices and it was AH.MAZING. They looked like snowshoes they were so big. Which leads me to 9pm on a Thursday night in front of the mirror having a friendly conversation with this turd on my chin. What comes next is also something else I've never done until 'Rona...

I proceeded to place toothpaste on this bitch. Yes, Sensodyne to be precise (I have sensitive teeth so there's that). Isn't this the old wives tale they talk about? Putting toothpaste on a zit and *POOF* gone overnight?! Let's review; it was NOT gone overnight. It got bigger. Is that possible you ask? Yup. Very possible. Thank GAWD we're in quarantine or I'd have to use half my concealer to cover this effer. And can we discuss how I'm 41 years old still dealing with this shit? Not only did I make a mountain out of a molehill on my face but I slid my feet into bed last night and thought my feet were gonna take the sheets with them. How are my feet callused if I haven't worn shoes in over a month? Oh, that's why. Well, if anyone has an electric sander out there, I could use one for the bottoms of these hobbit feet. 'Rona, you really pulled a fast one on all of us.